20 April 2009

Ms. Manner-less

Continuing on with my "conversation" with Ms. S....

"Ms. S, how I wish you would acquire some manners. Your speech, for instance, is peppered with expletives and it's simply too loud in public. Pardon me for being blunt, but you sound rude. Snotty. Obnoxious."

"Yes, dear, I know this makes me terribly old-fashioned...practically from the Dark Ages! When you get home I'd like you to look up a word in the dictionary - DECORUM."

(Sigh) I miss gentility. I miss women acting like ladies in public. I miss mildness...mild speech, mild behavior, mild makeup, mild clothing, mild manners. I miss feminine dignity.

I am especially disheartened by the crude manner in which so many women talk nowadays. Their mouths seem to have no filter whatsoever! I cringe every time I hear people swearing, especially the "F" word... it is most painful when it comes out of a woman's mouth. I wonder if women have some bizarre idea that it makes them seem powerful or strong. I think it just makes them seem very unladylike, unfeminine, and badly in need of some "softening up."

"Here are a few more new words for your vocabulary, dear. Grace, dignity, tact, sweetness, patience, reflection, discretion."

"Try them on and see how they fit. You might be surprised to discover how much fun it can be to be a LADY. And in the meantime, when you see me out and about with my daughters (my ladies-in-the-making) please mind your manners! Little eyes are watching you and learning from you whether I like it or not!"

Here's a little wisdom from our Heavenly Father on the subject:

Psalm 141:3 "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies."

Proverbs 16:23-24 "A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Matthew 12:34
"For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

You mean what comes out of my mouth is the abundance of my heart?!?

"Yes, Ms. S, that's what I've been trying to tell you. I'd like to think there is so much more deep down in your heart than what's coming out of your mouth. Please, learn to tame your tongue! Please learn to think before you speak, and weigh your words more carefully, for they either give life or take life away."



Dirtdartwife said...

I guess I could call myself Ms. S... wow. That really spoke to me. I've been learning a lesson here recently (basically the past two months) on how to act more like a lady. I feel like a bull in a china shop because I was raised as a tomboy (nothing like being raised knowing your father wanted sons, not daughters). It's women like you that show us bulls what it's like to be graceful and to speak the truth with kindness, dignity and with truth. So thank you! :)

GrandmaK said...

There's a lot to be said for Thinking Before Speaking. We don't have to be as crass as men to prove we can compete with them..if one must compete. Very GOOD post! Thank you! Cathy

Anonymous said...

I totally agree! Women should be women - soft and feminine. There's nothing worse than seeing a beautiful girl, and then the image is ruined by the expletives that come out of her mouth.

Carmen said...

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Sarah said...

I also wish we lived in an age where manners, dignity, and grace were common rather than uncommon. What happened? Where did they go? When did we stop teaching proper etiquette to our children? (SIGH!) I hope and pray that at some point our society will wake up and take a turn for the better. There seems to be enough desire out there for modesty and manners. Perhaps this is just the beginning toward a movement to restore these things to our culture. I truly hope so!

God bless you, Jennifer!

+JMJ+ said...

Jennifer - this is a much-needed post and I often cringe, not because I curse, but because I know I could be softer, more gentile, more ladylike and less crass. Thank you for this!

I REALLY LIKE your blog and I am so glad you are following mine and I am now following you. :)

God bless.

Nârwen said...

I dislike profanity from anyone, male or female - partly because the people I've run into who use expletives for every other word have all been dumber than rocks, and had such limited vocabularies that they 'needed' profanity to apppear 'cool '. I do not use such language at all myself, but the occasional use by others, of either sex, does not bug me.

Mrs.Pogle said...

Oh I do agree, there is much to be said for genteel and quiet speech! I grew up in a household where swearing was the norm, and in my pre-Christian days I swore an awful lot. It took a while for the Lord to break this habit in me, and I still slip up now and then. It comes up in confession rather a lot! But I am trying to be vigilant, both in the words I use and in my whole attitude. I sometimes long for "days gone by" when women were *ladies* and men were *gentlemen* :) I am an old-fashioned girl at heart!

I love the quote from Proverbs: "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness" (Prov. 31:26)...I have it stuck to my bedroom mirror as a reminder each morning that when I fix my hair, I need to fix my attitude, too!

I am trying to reconnect with old-fashioned manners at the moment by re-reading what "Katy Did At School" ~ I loved that book as a child :)

Mrs.P xx


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